This weekend was the occurrence of my high school’s 50th reunion. I couldn’t go to it, but I didn’t go to any of the dances, proms or much of anything else outside the classroom in those days at Strake Jesuit in Houston. I was not part of any specific group or clique.
About 20 from our class attended the reunion events over two days, based on lists that I saw, which is pretty good considering there were just under 90 (if my memory serves correctly) who walked across the stage five decades ago. The very opportunity for a 50th reunion provides much to think about.
Quality and quantity
A good number of years have passed and a lot of life has gone by. More importantly, the quality of those years has been a blessing. Not all years were easy – that’s for sure! – but life is not. Good does not equal easy; good is the sum of the people, experiences, lessons learned, and love that comprises the moments. I’ve had an outstanding life. The numbers keep adding up, and for that I am blessed, too.
Perspective over time
I shared with one of my classmates via email that it took years and decades to understand the true value of all that happened in the classrooms and fields of the school that was only 10 years old when we graduated. I have tapped into those lessons innumerable times in all the roles I have, or have had, throughout my life. The courage and commitment of the leaders of the school in the early, challenging days (Frs. Alchediak, Leininger and Mulvihill come to mind) far surpass that of all other institutional leaders I have ever met or worked for in the 50 years hence. I continue to rely on the wisdom and examples of those days.
Gratitude for then and now
I also shared with my classmate that I only regret that I never had the chance to thank my mother and father for the sacrifices they made that enabled me to attend the school. The school had many students whose last names were among the wealthy of the Houston area. The last time that I went to the campus (nine years ago), the parking lot was full of pricey vehicles, some driven by the sons and grandsons of my contemporaries. While I appreciate the school experience, I more appreciate and am grateful for mom and dad sacrificing so much. I am grateful for what was made possible then, and for the effect those times had in making me the man, father, husband and friend that I am today.
Time for growth
My eldest son once told a group of people, “If you know dad, you know that if he is about anything, he is about growth.” …or something very close to that. I have always appreciated that statement and I believe it to be true. Life and living is not about record achievements or shelves full of awards, but about growth. Some people “grow” like weeds (quickly and noticeable to all), some like fruit trees (with obvious production) and some like bonsai trees (sure, steady and barely noticeable). Nine years ago, I was invited to share a few thoughts with students at the school about writing as a craft and career. Here you’ll find the 9-minute video. I emphasize growth and seeing life differently as parts of the process of a writer, and as a student at the school. In the first few minutes of the video, I read a Strake-related story that involves Fr. Mulvihill having a conversation with a class of sophomores. (The story appears in my first book, Listen to Life: Wisdom in Life’s Stories.) I have tapped into, and shared, that story for decades; it is about wisdom, decision making, vision and growth. All times are opportunities for growth, and it serves us well to recognize that in the moment and with the context of time.
We’ve lost several from the Class of 1974 over the years and the reality is that we’ll be losing more as we head to the 55th and 60th reunions. The memories persist and enrich my days. For all the years and all the people in them, I remain grateful.