One of my subscribers has a hard time reading my writings due to the gradual decrease in her vision, so I narrate the postings and send her the files so she can listen to them. I’m flattered that she enjoys the messages so much. The situation got me to thinking. We all have messages of value to others; we should find a way that the messages can be of benefit to others.

I’m reminded of a communications class that I took 45 years ago. The professor said that no one ever considers how their message will be received before they speak. I knew then, and know now, that that is patently untrue. I did it then and do it now, though I’m sure that I could still be better at the practice. It may not be the norm for everyone, but the professor’s 100% certainty was 100% untrue. By pausing before speaking, we can consider how what we have to say will be interpreted and then, perhaps, develop a better message. By doing so, we improve the chances of what we say being understood for what we intended. I declared as much to the professor; he told me that I was lying.

It has been noted by others that people who are considered to be great conversationalists actually do not talk that much; they listen that much. People want to be heard, listened to and understood. Being heard can be simply a function of acoustics, while being listened to requires more effort on the part of the person listening, and being understood actually requires work from the one communicating and the one hearing and listening.

It seems to me – and I have no scientifically obtained evidence to support this – that 95% of life’s problems are somehow tied to a “failure to communicate.” (C’mon, you know the movie reference there, don’t you?) We can all take a more active role in sharing thoughts that are of value and benefit to others by putting some thought and effort into how best to communicate the message before actually communicating, and by listening, listening, listening.

I bet the holidays would be a great time to slow down a bit on messaging and consider what you’re saying and how it might be construed or (mis)understood before sharing.  …just a thought.