My dad’s epitaph reads, “He left for us a most noble pattern.” It doesn’t say he was perfect; he wasn’t. None of us are. How we deal with that reality is important; it also reveals a lot about God’s love for us. Dad loved well and there was not a moment in my life that I felt unsafe or unloved. He left a noble pattern, indeed.

My dad has been gone for 37 years. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about him. My Father has never been gone and not a day goes by that I don’t converse with Him. My experiences with dad taught me a lot about my Father.

I arrived fairly late in mom and dad’s life, a true surprise. Dad was 43 when I was born. By the time I arrived, he had corralled several demons. Try as he might, they were hard to defeat so bringing them under control was an ongoing challenge.  Mom shared stories about dad’s younger life; between his stories and hers, I had a better view of his imperfections. I also had a better understanding of the courage it took for him to battle daily his demons and his upbringing.  Until the day he died after 52 days in ICU, about half of which while in a coma, he fought with courage and love. I believe God expects that of us.

America, the soft rock band of my youth, has many good tunes that I associate with my coming-of-age years. One stands out as my understanding-love-and-forgiveness song. Whenever I hear it, I think of dad, of our Father, of love, of forgiveness and of faith.  “Another Try” speaks to me; it whispers to me until I cry; and, it reminds to love and forgive. Again and again.

The song begins:

Hey, Daddy just lost his pay
What did he do it for
It never made it through our door
He drank the week away

What can a family say
There must be a better way
Now, Mama don’t start to cry
Let’s give him another try

When I think of dad’s most challenged times, particularly as mom and dad were losing their first daughter to leukemia when she was only 5, and the daily battles with demons, the need for love and courage in the family, the joys and scars for them and my siblings during those times (long before I was born), I am also reminded of mom’s courage, her faith and her strength. The process brought dad to faith, too. Life is difficult. It will always be so.  Anyone who says it isn’t or that it can be difficulty-free is a deceiver. God tells us that life will be difficult. In that reality, the need for love, courage, strength and forgiveness is critical.

We are all given ‘another try’ by our Father. Time and again, we will need it. Welcome to the human race. And in His image, we are called to provide those around us the love and forgiveness they are due.