I was reminded the other day of an expression my dad would often use, “The trute’s the trute” (the truth is the truth). I don’t recall who in his past gave him the unusual pronunciation, bit it added a bit of honey to let the medicine of reality go down for whoever dad shared the comment. I think we could use more of that, with or without the honey. Society needs the truth.

In the quest to have a world of no hurt feelings, sense of failure or emotional bruises, society has twisted words, deflected truths and taken political correctness to such a level that the realities of life and living are almost lost. 

Someone aspires to a goal, falls short of the mark and then feels to be a victim of all the forces against him. A reality check might encourage a supportive person to say, “Well, did you work hard enough for it?  Did you commit to it? You spent a lot of time playing video games that could have been used for furthering your goals.”  The trute’s the trute.  In the long wrong, this truth is a better sign of love and concern than trying to always find a soft place on the mat for others (a term in boxing when the boxer agrees to take a dive — give up and let the other guy win — and looks for the right time and place to pretend he has been knocked down, losing by being “unable” to get up) to give up though they have the talent, ability and skills needed to succeed.

The list of examples is endless when unrealistically affirming actually sets up others for more pain and frustration further down the line. Or when not being forthright about a topic ends up creating years of festering negative feelings.

Understanding that the trute’s the trute is important in self-talk, too.  “I can run a sub-three minute half mile at this age.”  I can tell myself that all I want, but if I’m not putting in the time, changing diet and behaviors and making the goal a priority…well, it will never happen. The cosmos is not against me; getting kicked off the high school track squad did not scar me; the distractions of work are not unfair.

Scott Peck famously opened his book, The Road Less Travelled, with a one-sentence paragraph:  “Life is difficult.” It is. Period.  End of story. We become better human beings as we face the challenges with open eyes, compassionate hearts, and courage. Peck followed that sentence with “This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths.”  Yep, the trute’s the trute, and never forget it.